Question: Do you daydream?
You know, when the sun is up and life is well underway? Do you drift off into another time — past or present — giving your mind’s leash more slack than normal? And as it drifts here and there, lallygagging around the recesses of your imagination, do you feel the gentle friction of time slipping through your fingers as you paint the smallest of details of your choice storyline? If you’re anything like me, a romantic planner, daydreaming can bring much joy. I often comb through the intricacies of my ‘perfect day’ (ask me about it sometime — I’m sure you’d think it perfect too!) or sort through various aspects of my (Lord willing someday) wedding. I mean really, who needs movies on a 30 hour bus ride between Colombia and Ecuador when you have as vivid daydreams as mine? I’ll actually start smiling in the midst of external life based my internal hopes taking shape in my mind.
But here is the thing…
When I daydream, I depart from my current season and teleport to the next or maybe even the one after that. Doing so, I lose out on not only the sweetness of what the Lord has in store for my current time but also the lessons and opportunities for growth that I’ll undoubtably need for the season I’m seeking after! All my daydreaming came to a head at the end of my first month in Colombia. I couldn’t believe month one was already complete and as I crawled into bed on our second to last night, I thought “Wow, this month went by so fast! The Race is going to go by so fast and then I can…fill in the blank with all kinds of things — aspirations, dating, hopes for marriage, kids, etc.” And then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I started to cry. “Lord, please take this thought from me. I don’t want to waste away this precious time you’ve gifted me.” And thanks be to God, He hears our prayers and answers in abundance! Not only did a wave of peace wash over me in that very moment, wiping away the thoughts completely but now each time I actively try to daydream, all I see are white veils. Not harsh brick walls but white, wispy, sheer cloth likened to a bride’s veil. Just enough covering to cultivate mystery and excitement…a certain kind of beauty in itself.
And through this, I’ve learned.
I’ve learned and I’m growing. I realized I invest a large portion of my time seeking after the next season and as such, inherently wishing the current one away. It took me going away on The World Race — that I spent 10 months preparing for — to see this particular log in my eye. But what does something as cliche as ‘living in the moment’ have to do with growing in intimacy with the Lord, one of my over arching goals of this 11 month journey?
You see, if I’m always seeking after next season, I’ll never truly live a life of abundance but rather of grasping and reaching. For me (and maybe for you?), this desire for the future is rooted in my belief that my current state is somehow inferior to what is yet to come (whether it actually be on the horizon or not). And if we are to believe in God’s all encompassing providence, our eagerness for a time outside our current moment is actually our heart declaring His foreseen guidance and care insufficient. Let this not be so! Remember, the Lord desires life abundantly for each of us and that doesn’t mean tomorrow but TODAY, in this very moment! Sweet friends, we do not serve a stingy God. He isn’t holding out on us but rather, His providence extends over every second of every day and He has prepared this season to be lived fully, not skipped over or treaded on lightly. So let’s permit future seasons to wear their veils…they’ll be down the isle soon enough, just in time for us to meet them with the delight of readiness.
And in the meantime...
I implore you to live. Feel all the feels, write all the music and paint all the paintings. Bask in the sunshine, drink coffee with friends and complete the work callouses take pride in. Consciously gulp in air and let it out slow. All in all, let Jesus grow you…and I’ll let Him grow me. Together we’ll leave dreaming for the night, living for the day and let seasons come as the may. Could die tomorrow, live for God today.
A quick ministry update:
We arrived in Quito, Ecuador earlier this month. This month is an ‘All Squad Month’ which means there are 21 of us (including leaders) doing life together under one roof. It’s a lot of fun with absolutely zero alone time. Talk about stretching and growing! Our team recently went through a change where we gained two more women, Madison and Susan. We are partnering with Inca Link as a squad. Inca Link is the mother organization of Formavida (my ministry last month). Although it’s an All Squad month, we still serve as individuals teams assigned by Inca Link. My team is serving at Camp Esperanza (Camp Hope), a day camp for kids with disabilities ranging from high functioning Down Syndrome to Cerebral Palsy, the majority of whom are orphans. Serving varies from working the kitchen helping to prepare lunch for all the kids or assisting the spunky and fun cleaning woman, Senorita Tanya. We also work in one of the classrooms with kids ranging from 13 to 29 that all have progressive brain deterioration and various physical ailments. I’ve been there the last three days and have loved (and been grown by) every moment. It’s been a great month thus far with the Lord moving in ALL KINDS of ways. I’ve had the opportunity to share the entire gospel with Luis, an 18 year old who was doing community service at Camp Esperanza, as well as with one of our servers at a coffee shop. I’ve been learning about all kinds of blind spots, my spiritual gifting for evangelism and just how deep God’s redemption runs. So here is to 10.5 more months!
Thanks be to God.